First and foremost: self love is the best — and safest– kind of love.
“You are your safest sex partner,” the document reads. “Masturbation will not spread COVID-19, especially if you wash your hands (and any sex toys) with soap and water for at least 20 seconds before and after.”
But the agency did not entirely throw cold water on the idea of bumping uglies with a live, virus-free human.
“The next safest partner is someone you live with,” officials offered. “Having close contact– including sex — with a small circle of people helps prevent spreading COVID-19.
Anyone outside your household? Avoid.
And no “group sex” either, the agency said.
Horndogs who “usually” meet partners online should take a break — and make like it’s 2003.
“Video dates, sexting or chat rooms may be options for you,” the agency said.
Condoms and washing up are more important than ever, notes the memo, which was removed from the agency’s website later in the day.