Josh Brolin Got Perineum Sunning, Also Got Anus Burned

Sunbathing has always come with its perils, whether it’s because you fell asleep and turned into a lobster or because you trusted your mates with the sun cream and they managed to burn a giant dick onto your back.

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Josh Brolin
Josh Brolin

There’s an entirely different danger associated with catching the sun, and it has something to do with the state of your anus.

More specifically, the extremely burnt state of your anus after you’ve participated in the brand new trend doing the rounds, ‘perineum sunning’.

If you haven’t heard of perineum sunning, let me do the honours and bring you up to date.

Influencer Metaphysical Meagan revealed it had improved her well-being in numerous ways, including: aiding a healthy libido and balanced sexual energy; and increasing creativity and creative output.

Her argument was a somewhat convincing one, leading others (including – apparently – Brolin) to try it for himself. However, the 51-year-old actor was in for a nasty surprise as the entire thing ended in disaster.

Josh Brolin
Josh Brolin

Addressing his 2.8 million Instagram followers, and using the photo from Meagan’s original post, Brolin wrote:

Tried this perineum sunning that I’ve been hearing about and my suggestion is DO NOT do it as long as I did. My pucker hole is crazy burned and I was going to spend the day shopping with my family and instead I’m icing and using aloe and burn creams because of the severity of the pain.

I don’t know who the fuck thought of this stupid shit but fuck you nonetheless. Seriously. #blackholefriday #blackholesun #severeperineumburns #santamonicafiredepartment #assholecare

Yikes.

Other Specialists Say

Prominent gynaecologist Dr Jennifer Gunter, the author of The Vagina Bible, came forward with claims that the practice could result in an increased risk of skin cancer on the vulva in women.

Dr Gunter wrote on Twitter:

I feel confident when I say the anus and perineum have no special sunlight concentrating abilities. You can get melanoma on the vulva and sunburns there are very painful.

So next time you fancy catching a bit of sun on your bits, maybe just… don’t.

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